madness

in this open wound

we swim in blood and rot

if this world can’t love us,

let’s stare into the sun together, baby

non slip socks and triple pane windows

shatterproof light fixtures and paper garbage bags

rounds every thirty minutes around the clock

do you remember the room they left me in for days?

bare

do you remember when they asked me who they should room me with, male or female?

do you remember when they stripped me down, or the picture of my dog on printer paper hidden in my bra?

i needed to keep something

don was in for electro shock

every day the pieces got a little harder for him to put together

one day he tried to show us a magic trick, but he couldn’t quite get it right

nina and chloe were my dear friends, kindred spirits in the death wish

chloe was a punk, an idealist,

a raging fire who tried not to let the heat touch you

they wouldn’t let her keep the cane she needed to walk

they didn’t believe the bed hurt her bones

nina was a fast friend, funny and bright

dazzlingly kaleidoscopic

but when the pieces of glass sat just right

there was only torture

she’d had a hard life full of people that couldn’t understand her

we all had, but maybe her most of all

one day after everyone else was gone

they unsealed the big magnetic door for me

i still hear the dead-air buzz of the loudspeaker in the hum of fluorescent lights

i still brace myself for the booming voice

i still wait for the train with my back against the wall

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